Ep 38: The Big O Part 3 - Over-Obligation & People Pleasing
10/18/21 | 24:11 | Episode 38
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I'm OK with you being disappointed in me. I'm not sorry if I don't meet your expectations.
I used to be a big time people-pleaser. I wanted people to like me. I wanted to be a team-player. I wanted everyone to be happy and that required me to do what they wanted me to do...But at a great cost.
The cost was my own low key, under-the-surface disappointment in myself and dissatisfaction with my life.
I was always letting myself down, not doing what I wanted to be doing.
I would volunteer for things at work to impress my boss even when I really didn't want to do them.
I would meet up with friends after work on Friday nights so as to not disappoint them when really my body was screaming for a quiet night of trashy TV and bed by 9pm.
I would agree to go to my kid's soccer practice because I felt like I "should" as a mom, when really what I craved was alone time.
I would eat the cookies my colleague made to "not make her feel bad" even though I made a commitment to no sugary sweets this week.
I chose to disappoint myself over disappointing them every, single, time. That was a recipe for deep dissatisfaction, resentment, and disappointment in my life.
When I would disappoint myself over and over, I'd go to food and wine to soothe myself, to make it all better, to find joy and pleasure in my life. Because "I deserve it."
And then it hit me: what I actually deserved was so much more than the conciliatory wine and chocolate that pairs so well with perpetual dissatisfaction and disappointment.
So, tune into part three of the The Big O series, and learn how to be unapologetic about reclaiming the power to say no to others, and to say yes to putting yourself first.
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